Infomercial

zz…does the evening news leave you feeling hopelessly lost?
are you anxious about bringing children into the world?
tired of waking up with that feeling of impending doom?
then maybe you’re ready for the
“I Ain’t Afraid of No Nukes” survival kit
…looks like an ordinary large yet fashionable ball cap
no one even realizes what you have on

but wait…pull down the visor
and it becomes a Mark V gas mask…
pull out the lining and yes!
It’s a chemical, biological, and radiological barrier suit
complete with gloves and booties
…impress your fellow survivors when the button pops off
becoming a combination radiac and dosimeter
for just two easy payments of only $19.95
you get your choice of one of these three beautiful colors…
”I survived strawberry”,
“boogie on blue”, or
“life goes on green”!

and if you act right now, you’ll also get this…
looks like a common fountain pen, but look again –
push this button and it becomes an atropine syringe –
and that’s not all...
pull off the cap and it’s a water decontamination kit

but there’s more..send your check
or money order today to:
I Ain’t Afraid of No Nukes
Box 69
Buenos Noches, California
90236
and you’ll also receive this…

looks like an ordinary arrowhead shaped locket,
but when opened..
it contains a cyanide pill
with a dose lethal enough to kill
an average sized human
in just thirty seconds


so why worry about arms treaties,
nuclear terrorism,
ground zero,
fall out sickness,
or the annihilation of the human race?
order yours now, tomorrow may be too late

just send check or money order to:
I Ain’t Afraid of No Nukes
Box 69
Buenos Noches, California
90236
or if you have a Visa or Master Card call
 
1-800-NO FUTURE
 
that number again is..
 
1-800-NO FUTURE
 
please have credit card handy when calling...zz

 Northern Mediterranean Sea ‘88
(Written shortly after we were rammed
by the Russians in the Black Sea)